Its far and its wide… no, on second thought, it may be pretty tight.

I like to self reflect, because I learn. I prune off the parts of me that are not growing and I make room for soul cleansing. Sometimes my soul just needs a bath… Do you know whether we offer it up as a welcomed process, or not,  it still HAPPENS? That’s life – this life cycle we go through, on in order to align ourselves with Creation and its demands on our soul. Sometimes I get in these places where I KNOW I need to write, because I can feel Spirit calling me to write… yet other times, I ‘m like, how?? Where’s  is the time? And again, other times I only think about writing…a thousand thoughts fleeting through my mind and I cannot sleep.. so I wake up and spend time talking to Him. God, My Creator.  I am in one of those in-between times… even though I know I love to write, I am not quite writing, because editing  ( my book) is a tremendously tedious process, (and a different TYPE of writing) so  I don’t always want to own the process. Selah.

 Sometimes GROWTH is sort of like my writing… we want to do it, we love it, and yet there are some things in life we don’t want to do differently, because is so comfortable, so complete, and so  interesting.  Yet something still causes the resistance in us…  and we desire it “stay that way.” Hmmm… I was reading a book like this maybe about one year ago… last summer, in fact. It’s called Holiness: The Heart God Purifies. – By Randy Alcorn.  A friend I knew at work once invited me to join her in reading it. She said it was a really “heavy book”. I just smiled saying to myself…  “How heavy can it be?” It cannot be THAT heavy,” I mean… what’s the big deal about holiness anyway?”

Wow… was I in for a surprise! I got about half way through the book, and it just slapped me across the face. (Not in a violent way, mind you… just in terms of awareness…)  I literally STOPPED in my tracks, because I thought… “Wow so I have to honestly answer these questions?”  It was asking about how much I consider others; what might I be able to do to help them’ and how have I cooperated with God in the ‘suffering’ process? (Too deep for words.)  It asked me how often do I read and apply and meditate on God’s Word… and how aware I was of God’s grace and how intentional was I being in willing to pursue it more?   It asked : ‘When was the last time you asked another believer to pray for the sin in our life? / Is there another believer whose sin you have justified or covered, rather than being willing to confront it…?’

This book like TOTALLY moved me into a place I was not ready for. I had to lay it down for a year!!  Wow… makes you wonder… where in the world is my soul!  And how intentional am I about serving the Living God?

Sadly enough, I was ashamed to admit to God I didn’t have this type of spiritual awareness and adeptness in my life. I wasn’t used to a book that called me to such accountability, and also helped me to even consider accountability unto others. It really is a paradigm shift, because it causes one to think about something other than them. I guess that’s why this book hit me at such a hard time in my life. I was going through – madly in LOVE with God, but going through… and quite frankly I didn’t want to hear about accountability and growth and all that righteous stuff.

 I write this blog to say simply one thing: It’s not JUST about you. There are other things in life to consider, that can make your life more fulfilling, more meaningful and exciting, more complete. And sometimes it may be that you have to take your eyes off yourself before God can show you Himself.

 So if you feel like being risky, get this book! (Holiness: The Heart God Purifies – By Randy Alcorn) You won’t be disappointed, and if you ever had questions about what Holiness really means, this book won’t leave you in doubt! Selah.

 I’m still not completely there… it may take me another year ..or two.. or three…to finish it, but I am working on it. And  God’s working on me, too. Selah.