By Jennifer Owens

 “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord,  as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, …”  1Peter 1:2

I am coming to a place in my life where I realize how important communication is. The older I become, the more I realize that I cannot maintain healthy relationships without it.

 Have you ever noticed who the communicators were, or weren’t in your life? How were things discussed in your home? Or were they? When you felt uncomfortable or felt like you could not do something because you were either too tired, upset or frustrated, was that unacceptable in your home? Did someone sit you down and normalize your experience and inform you that what you felt was normal and validate that you were human, and sometimes you would have such challenges in life?

Most of us have unspoken communications around what we feel. Sometimes it really isn’t important for you to express the way you feel. We didnt learn that it was healthy to communicate our feelings – because we learned when we did, we would  feel even guiltier. We must learn we cannot meet the challenge of what someone else expectations are. I have experienced this often and it often effected my self esteem. Being  the youngest in my family, I often did not speak up when I really needed to, or should have. Interestingly enough, I know this has impacted my life, in so many ways. I allowed a pattern to begin to develop, and I began to often ignore  my needs or what I found important in my life. When I became older, I neglected myself by losing my voice when i had chances to speak up for myself. Thusly, my sense of peace was affected by what I refused or chose not to communicate.

The morewe understand the grace of God, the more we are able to understand our own imperfections.  The more we understand our own imperfections, the more we begin to realize we don’t have to truly please anyone but God. The more we also realize His ability to bring us “balance”. The ability to understand and receive the grace of God is crucial to us maintaining our own peace. I once tried to explain grace to children  in a youth group I mentored. It wasn’t too challenging once simplified. I described it as a feeling that whatever we are contemplating is ok to pursue and things  around us flow with an ease and within, – no trepidation, no insecurity, there  is an amazing sense of security gained from that decision. Grace is like faith. It’s an expectation of good.

 Sometimes it’s really hard, but neceassary to take a good look inside of ourselves BEFORE  we make any decision.  I often have  to really take a good  look inside of myself in order to know what was really going on. That means I had to slow my pace, say “no” to a few people; and rid myself of a sense of obligation. ( That means saying ‘yes’ to every request or saying “I am not sure …can I get back to you?…Or when do you need an answer by?” ) 

My husband tends to a really good listener… but even when he isn’t – God is. God is concerned about our day to day success. Even with the small details of our lives, He wants to be included. I have found that even in the details of life,  the smallest decision I make, can be the most critical in any given day. Taking the time to talk to someone  I love, or just spend  five more minutes with them, or maybe spending time writing that letter and sending it without any outside distractions - or  smiling and walking up to that person I rarely speak to and saying hello – are all crucial pieces to understanding where the grace of God works on our behalf. 

Peter 1:2 says: “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises…   But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,  to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,  to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.  For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ”.

From Paul, I understand  that grace  for decision-making can be found in our character and in God’s power. So next time you make a decision, seek God’s way, first. Look Up!