By JenRene Owens
So why does God desire to watch over our grief?
Some ask why doesn’t He simply relieve it, and make the sorrow go away? Well, I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for such complex understanding. What I do know is: I had a very intimate encounter with grief that transformed my life, because I chose to embrace my sorrow.
I once experienced grief to the degree if halted my very being. It left me motionless, speechless, dis-empowered, and speechless. I was in utter despair. In fact, I sunk into a really deep depression. It was a life altering type of sorrow, but the majority of it occurred over the course of only four days. I believe it lasted only a short time – the immensely difficult pain of it – because I embraced the pain. I spent time with God during this period where I shut everything else out – I questioned Him, I recounted the past, I repented, I cried out to God… I even told him how mad I was with Him, and how it had affected my life. Yet I faced it, because I wanted it to be out of my life.
Have you ever experienced a pain so deep that you just wanted to get through it, so that you can get to the other side of it, and be done with it? I was there. I wanted more. So I purposed my self to grieve. To allow grief to be all that it needed to be in my life, so that I could fully embrace my life.
So on purpose… I wrangled with God over my grief for approximately 72 hours. I didn’t say “wrestled” - I said wrangled. To wrestle is to fight with God, and to wrangle is to have a dispute or argument with God. (Now… many think it’s – not ok – to argue with your Maker. Yes, I knew my arms were too short to box with God, but I still needed answers. I’d never gone through this type of Red Sea Experience, and I needed to know where was my God (?) The one I’d worshiped and proclaimed to be my all in all, my Lily in the Valley – and I was in a deep dark valley, and needed to know the purpose of this valley, because I could not see my way out. Yet something miraculous happened after the third day. (Sounds familiar?) Three days is all it took for Jesus to redeem all mankind and forever obtain our salvation.
Despite my being completely exhausted and emotionally spent, I came out feeling at peace with myself and those that caused the pain, and I felt like I had been resurrected. From really deep emotional scars and pain I thought I’d never heal from. I had a new found hope. It seemed like I could even breathe better. My breathing was more regulated. I was aware I was breathing, and though it may sound odd, it was a relief. God’s divine providence began to rule in my life after that weekend like it never had before. My future became brighter, and I was released into a new life. My life forever changed that day when I decided to embrace my grief.
I’m sorry if you have grief today that may be hard to bear. I am not sure why its burden can be so heavy. One thing I am sure of – is the fact that when God gave up His Son, He grieved immensely. Many may even say: ‘Yes, but his grief was only temporal, it only lasted but three days.’ And I would say: ‘The magnitude of the blessing He gave – and the favor and grace it left on this earth far surpasses the grief of it all. For a day with the Lord is as its one thousand years.’ Hmm…that would be interpreted as: God’s grief lasted perhaps 3,000 years, or more. And maybe… perhaps even though Jesus is with Him, He’s still grieving….those three thousands years are not up, yet.
Maybe, just maybe if grief can bring redemption to mankind for eternity, then your grief may also leave a revelation of powerful, prospered, redemption as well. I challenge you today, to see grief as a calling, and not a curse. Allow God to release you from its painful grip and provide a greater purpose for your life.
Selah.
Come back again soon.
Kimberely Jones
April 14th, 2010 at 10:16 AM
When my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 reoccurrence of Breast Cancer last year, she did not ask for healing, she prayed not to suffer. If my Hero could request such a remarkable prayer, I would ask the Lord to help me accept it. Acceptance was my prayer. “Dear Lord, please help me to accept your will. I must learn to accept this, because I am afraid will become angry with you if I don’t.” Less than 60 days later my Mother had transitioned to be with the Lord. I continued to pray for acceptance. You may say…Kim she is gone Honey…I knew and understood the fact; however, I had not accepted it. I couldn’t make peace with it. As the weeks passed, I used a journal to capture my thoughts, my feelings, my sadness, my desperation for acceptance of the facts.
My struggle was and at times still is heart breaking, there are times when it is so bad I can’t breathe. I kept praying, I continuously asked for acceptance. I reminded him daily, Help me Jesus, I called out “Help me Jesus, help me accept your will…I cried out Mommy!!! Help me accept it…I am struggling… I have questions…” The day finally came…Acceptance covered me from head to toe. The cloak of darkness and grief was removed. I miss my relationship with my Mother, I miss simply spending time in her space, but I have accepted her current relationship with the LORD, and I know she is enjoying her time in her new space.
Tia Smith
April 14th, 2010 at 1:01 PM
Oh- I LOVE this Jennifer- it ministered to me TODAY! I seem to have been dealing with something similiar to this and now I have a different perspective. When we grip and hold onto grief or pain it holds us hostage. When we face it and embrace it, we can then BREATHE – a burden lifts……
Thank God for Watching over our grief…..
JenRene
April 14th, 2010 at 2:35 PM
Awesome Kimberley! Wow… you said it all ! God truly does give us relief! Praise God from whom all blessings flow! It’s in our “seeking acceptance” thanks we conquer this territory! Bless you and thanks for sharing! ~ Jen Rene
JenRene
April 14th, 2010 at 2:37 PM
Tia, God is faithful! I am glad you heard the message behind the matter… Praise God! He’s awesome! ~ Thanks for sharing!~ JenRene
kristene newton
April 14th, 2010 at 3:43 PM
thank you
darryl
April 16th, 2010 at 9:36 PM
Amen JenRene I’m often reminded of the importance and power of “the embrace.” It’s comforting to have something or someone to hold onto for support for reassurance that we aren’t alone but if indeed we become too dependent upon the feeling of security, presence and comfort of another where would our true Sovereign One/”Comforter” fit into our lives? For it is said of our Maker that he will not share his glory with another! Thank you for such a thought provoking reminder and picture of the Refiner’s Fire of Malachi 2:2-3.
With much pride in your accomplishments, love and appreciation for your character/essence, and expectation of your giftedness to The Kingdom in the near future!
D.
JenRene
April 17th, 2010 at 10:52 AM
Darryl, just for reference sake for other readers ~ that’s Malachi 3:2, 3
“And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness.”
Here’s a really neat story to go along with this passage. Check it out…
http://mychristianwalk.org/refiners-fire.htm
~JenRene
Tonja McNair
April 20th, 2010 at 1:10 PM
Hey Jenn, What a wonderful reminder of our ability to be open and transparent with the father even when it comes to grief. Having the freedom to be open and honest with him when we don’t understand and don’t like our present state. This certainly can help to foster an attitude that even grief has a purpose, and all things are working for our good even grief. Thanks for that gentle reminder…