Red Sea Situations

By Jennifer Owens

 “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord,  as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, …”  1Peter 1:2

I am coming to a place in my life where I realize how important communication is. The older I become, the more I realize that I cannot maintain healthy relationships without it.

 Have you ever noticed who the communicators were, or weren’t in your life? How were things discussed in your home? Or were they? When you felt uncomfortable or felt like you could not do something because you were either too tired, upset or frustrated, was that unacceptable in your home? Did someone sit you down and normalize your experience and inform you that what you felt was normal and validate that you were human, and sometimes you would have such challenges in life?

Most of us have unspoken communications around what we feel. Sometimes it really isn’t important for you to express the way you feel. We didnt learn that it was healthy to communicate our feelings – because we learned when we did, we would  feel even guiltier. We must learn we cannot meet the challenge of what someone else expectations are. I have experienced this often and it often effected my self esteem. Being  the youngest in my family, I often did not speak up when I really needed to, or should have. Interestingly enough, I know this has impacted my life, in so many ways. I allowed a pattern to begin to develop, and I began to often ignore  my needs or what I found important in my life. When I became older, I neglected myself by losing my voice when i had chances to speak up for myself. Thusly, my sense of peace was affected by what I refused or chose not to communicate.

The morewe understand the grace of God, the more we are able to understand our own imperfections.  The more we understand our own imperfections, the more we begin to realize we don’t have to truly please anyone but God. The more we also realize His ability to bring us “balance”. The ability to understand and receive the grace of God is crucial to us maintaining our own peace. I once tried to explain grace to children  in a youth group I mentored. It wasn’t too challenging once simplified. I described it as a feeling that whatever we are contemplating is ok to pursue and things  around us flow with an ease and within, – no trepidation, no insecurity, there  is an amazing sense of security gained from that decision. Grace is like faith. It’s an expectation of good.

 Sometimes it’s really hard, but neceassary to take a good look inside of ourselves BEFORE  we make any decision.  I often have  to really take a good  look inside of myself in order to know what was really going on. That means I had to slow my pace, say “no” to a few people; and rid myself of a sense of obligation. ( That means saying ‘yes’ to every request or saying “I am not sure …can I get back to you?…Or when do you need an answer by?” ) 

My husband tends to a really good listener… but even when he isn’t – God is. God is concerned about our day to day success. Even with the small details of our lives, He wants to be included. I have found that even in the details of life,  the smallest decision I make, can be the most critical in any given day. Taking the time to talk to someone  I love, or just spend  five more minutes with them, or maybe spending time writing that letter and sending it without any outside distractions - or  smiling and walking up to that person I rarely speak to and saying hello – are all crucial pieces to understanding where the grace of God works on our behalf. 

Peter 1:2 says: “Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises…   But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge,  to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness,  to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.  For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ”.

From Paul, I understand  that grace  for decision-making can be found in our character and in God’s power. So next time you make a decision, seek God’s way, first. Look Up!

I was arrested today. I didn’t expect it.It was very unusual how it happened too. I was making plans to go about my day, and I had BIG plans, too – in fact I thought: : “Wow, I have all this time… I should…” and began to create my list of things I could do, because I was “on vacation.”

As I stopped and contemplated  my options, I realized that I didnt have as much liberty as I thought.
I heard a still small voice within say:  Have you thought about the plan in its entirety?  What plan? I thought - isn’t the whole purpose of being on vacation to spend time and do “nothing“!  ( Why plan??)  Well - because there is always an opportunity wherever God is. 

To Arrest means to: accommodate, apprehend, capture, commit, confine,  and constrain. Interesting words. I think about this in the sense that not everyone feels comfortable accommodating everyone else… but isnt God ALWAYS accommodating us? He never thinks our inconveniences are His own. Whenever He desperately needs our attention, He just grabs our attention - or we have something thatusually brings us to an amazing HALT.  Has God ever used something to capture your attention? Hasn’t  your commitment  to His assignment proved to be  the hallmark of a dedicated soul? 

Has God used some very inconvenient times to  constrain you and yet bring you to amazing resolve through that experience and what you learned from it?  I remember once,  I missed a plane traveling south. I was visiting with family before I made it to the airport and the stay over was for an entire night.  No more planes were leaving til the next day. That night, my life was transformed, because  new light was shed on something I’d never realized before.  The deeply intense conversation I had that night, unraveled some of the mysteries I’d had about my family and it led me to pursue some things for them and myself  in prayer. Today, I stand in a much better place, as well as my family, because I missed that plane and had that conversation in my cousin’s home. I refer to that moment  in time - the day:  The Lord messed up my plans. “ Then this makes me consider whether being arrested by God – even during a ’seemingly inconvenient time’ – can be a blessing, indeed.

Its funny, because we often take such liberty when we go on vacation and forget about everything that should involve priotity. Where do we place God? It helps to consider a few things: 1) Who made it possible for you  to have the money to go on vacation?   2)  Who gave you the peace in being able to go? 3) Where do you gain the strength to have the “get up and go” to make it possible to enjoy your trip?  and lastly,  4) What if God wanted to make it even better for you?

I was grateful to be “vacating”, but what was God’s plan for my vacation?  Many times we get to our destination and  forget  to take time to REST.  We end up coming back home just as tired as we were before we left!  Why not take your vacation time to think about  God, yourself  and relaxation  this time? It’s so important to remember to  consider this - and God’s purpose in your going. There may be something He wants to work with you on, and maybe you might just be on assignment. Maybe there’s something He wants to show you about the people you are going to visit. Maybe He wants to corner you and have you get away - so He can speak to your heart  in a quiet place.

For example, I love flying on a plan and writing. Some of my best stuff has been written some 10,000 miles up in the air!  Nothing like having God arrest you when you are in your groove, doing your best thing -  and feeling good about where  you’re going! As I continue to self examine myself this week, I find myself  finding God in some unfamiliar places. I find Him having a willingness to connect with me all the more , because I consider Him. It’s a pleasure to have God “arrest you”, because it can be an extremely good thing.

 So I sat down today, after being arrested and spoke to God about what I desired to get out of this trip, and I  listened to what He would have me to do. Selah. ( Pause and calmly think of that.)

 Do you want to add a little more self-examination in the mix? Where are YOU headed?

 Consider this link.

Its far and its wide… no, on second thought, it may be pretty tight.

I like to self reflect, because I learn. I prune off the parts of me that are not growing and I make room for soul cleansing. Sometimes my soul just needs a bath… Do you know whether we offer it up as a welcomed process, or not,  it still HAPPENS? That’s life – this life cycle we go through, on in order to align ourselves with Creation and its demands on our soul. Sometimes I get in these places where I KNOW I need to write, because I can feel Spirit calling me to write… yet other times, I ‘m like, how?? Where’s  is the time? And again, other times I only think about writing…a thousand thoughts fleeting through my mind and I cannot sleep.. so I wake up and spend time talking to Him. God, My Creator.  I am in one of those in-between times… even though I know I love to write, I am not quite writing, because editing  ( my book) is a tremendously tedious process, (and a different TYPE of writing) so  I don’t always want to own the process. Selah.

 Sometimes GROWTH is sort of like my writing… we want to do it, we love it, and yet there are some things in life we don’t want to do differently, because is so comfortable, so complete, and so  interesting.  Yet something still causes the resistance in us…  and we desire it “stay that way.” Hmmm… I was reading a book like this maybe about one year ago… last summer, in fact. It’s called Holiness: The Heart God Purifies. – By Randy Alcorn.  A friend I knew at work once invited me to join her in reading it. She said it was a really “heavy book”. I just smiled saying to myself…  “How heavy can it be?” It cannot be THAT heavy,” I mean… what’s the big deal about holiness anyway?”

Wow… was I in for a surprise! I got about half way through the book, and it just slapped me across the face. (Not in a violent way, mind you… just in terms of awareness…)  I literally STOPPED in my tracks, because I thought… “Wow so I have to honestly answer these questions?”  It was asking about how much I consider others; what might I be able to do to help them’ and how have I cooperated with God in the ‘suffering’ process? (Too deep for words.)  It asked me how often do I read and apply and meditate on God’s Word… and how aware I was of God’s grace and how intentional was I being in willing to pursue it more?   It asked : ‘When was the last time you asked another believer to pray for the sin in our life? / Is there another believer whose sin you have justified or covered, rather than being willing to confront it…?’

This book like TOTALLY moved me into a place I was not ready for. I had to lay it down for a year!!  Wow… makes you wonder… where in the world is my soul!  And how intentional am I about serving the Living God?

Sadly enough, I was ashamed to admit to God I didn’t have this type of spiritual awareness and adeptness in my life. I wasn’t used to a book that called me to such accountability, and also helped me to even consider accountability unto others. It really is a paradigm shift, because it causes one to think about something other than them. I guess that’s why this book hit me at such a hard time in my life. I was going through – madly in LOVE with God, but going through… and quite frankly I didn’t want to hear about accountability and growth and all that righteous stuff.

 I write this blog to say simply one thing: It’s not JUST about you. There are other things in life to consider, that can make your life more fulfilling, more meaningful and exciting, more complete. And sometimes it may be that you have to take your eyes off yourself before God can show you Himself.

 So if you feel like being risky, get this book! (Holiness: The Heart God Purifies – By Randy Alcorn) You won’t be disappointed, and if you ever had questions about what Holiness really means, this book won’t leave you in doubt! Selah.

 I’m still not completely there… it may take me another year ..or two.. or three…to finish it, but I am working on it. And  God’s working on me, too. Selah.

Thinking outside of the box. What a phenomena. Some are not really sure why its necessary, yet others cannot understand how some can live life without it. Sometimes we can become confused with life  we just can’t figure it out. How do you hear from God unless God clearly unfolds all the  information  you need in order to walk it out? God’s perspective over situations don’t always match our own.  I used to move and live my life as if it were my own.  But the bible says:  For in Him, we live move and have our being.” ( Acts 17:28)  I would make major decisions like: getting married, what school to attend, what to do with my time, all without God.  Now…there are times when I won’t move until I hear God’s perspective. I call this kind of thinking: “The God Box.”

Some people think this is crazy. How do you hear from God, anyway?  Well, if definitely takes time and it definitely isn’t an easy feat. It took years of mistakes and wrong decisions to know how God speaks. I would say: begin with a willingness. God can work with your willingness.

A few years ago, I experienced  a pretty challenging and emotionally  difficult, draining and depressing period in my life. I was in deep discussion and reflecting on a few thoughts with a friend. This friend seemed to be observing my life pattern and made a few conclusions and judgments, not really asking me why I had made those decisions the way I did. This friend pointed out that for ‘most of my adult life’ - the past nine or ten years –  I had  lived in what appeared to be “life in a box’.  My response to this friend after much contemplation was: “I had to live out that experience in my life, the best way I knew how - to know what I really didn’t want in my life.” In other words, although there were many  negative situations that I experienced,  they were not as bad, because they taught me very valuable lessons about how to ‘not settle’ for less.

One thing he didn’t know, was that I was being very reflective over this period in life and observing all the details and patterns very closely. One of my biggest mistakes was getting ahead of God. I made several decisions without seeking out godly counsel. The Bible says in  Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” In another version it says: “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.” Proverbs 15:22

I began to translate my experience to him – not realizing it would lead to a radical way of approaching life that was pretty groundbreaking from that point on. I explained in defense of this “personal walk with God” that being “in a box” all that time wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, because I grew tremendously during this time I found it rather satisfying. I found out a lot about myself, literally ‘studied’ myself – in order that  I could fully determine what kind of  “emotionally healthy” reality I wanted in  my life. In essence… my dream began to take shape and was birthed during one of the most entirely difficult times in my life.

This conversation with my friend revealed new knowledge to me. As a result, I begin to pattern my life with great intensity and intention. I recognized my patterns and mistakes, repented of them, (even generationally from my family of origin), asking God to remove the patterns that continually caused me to fail. I began to realize that anyone can develop a great propensity for finding courage in life struggle, if they have a dream they keep before them, and I had lost sight of my dreams.

 The COURAGE we find to endure in the Lord is what makes the dream before us  a final realization. We have to move out of our conformed thoughts about who we think God is, and what we believe He will or won’t do. It wasn’t until I took God out of the box, I began to soar.

Just one more…smile

Sometimes the things we intend – don’t always materialize. Sometimes I wonder if it’s because we often give too much attention to the wrong things. My husband Tim, ( the extrovert) is a deep thinker. Because he is, we tend to have really intense discussions. He is mostly intentional about just about everything he does. It’s very hard to for him to relax in fact – because he often believes he should be doing something to stay busy.

I am also intentional – but not much  in a very “busy” way – I am more of an introvert, so  it’s very hard to discern when I am being intentional about things. We have this discussion often, about what am I thinking ( ?) because he thinks I am daydreaming or just shooting the breeze – when in fact, my mind is filled with a hundred different things at one time, and unless I sit and write some of them down, they will  just disappear.

 I thanks God for Tim, because of the level of intention at which he operates.  I have found my life takes a different turn the more intentional I am about things. I don’t know exactly what i was doing before… but I tell you, things are very good, right now,in my life, and it’s not just because I believed they would be that way, it’s the STEPS I took  in order to make it happen. The steps are critical. This is an awesome  reason reason why I believe its so important to spend time with God.  I used to just think as a believer ( in Christ) , one could just “think” something and” pray something” into happening. But at what point does God want us to “join Him” in the process of seeing  things coming to pass? I believe this is a dilemma every person that wants to please God comes into contact with. I also  believe it’s something that happens consistently.

Sometimes my level of intention  can   intimidates others. I just realized this recently. I guess when you are a “go -getter” , thinks work differently for your in the universe. I believe  in miracles. So miracles happen, in my life. Sometimes things beyond my imagination. I love this, because here’s the place where God begins to come into my life and help me to fulfill my purpose.

I encourage you today to ask God to help you fill in the gaps – the places in your life where you lack understanding and you just don’t understand what will move your purpose along. Because when you are on track with God, everything else is a piece of cake.  I can accept that for many , this is really hard to believe. Because God is so complex, we often are challenged in our thinking to believe God has best interests for us at all.  Yet there’s scripture to explain this. The word says : we only have 1/4 of the picture anyway… as it pertains to our future.  1 Corinthians 13:12: “we see through a glass dimly, but then, face to face.” I don’t know about you, but I want to see God face to face! ( and sometimes I do – and man oh man, is he beautiful! )  In other words, I want to understand him- as much as He would allow me to, and be eager about my intention to have all He has for me! It’s my inheritance in the Lord, to have such goods stored up for me!

 

I will be going on a little hiatus from Red seas to finish the book.  I am planning an all out month long writing/editing sabbatical! Look for me a bit later. 

I may be onto something NEW by then!

Smile.

Just so you will know… I will be on my regular day-to-day blog blogging about whatever matters, until then.

 This is where i will be “silently warring”…Check me out there if you like… www.kamausilentwarriors.wordpress.com

Thanks for being faithful friends!
And… PRAY for me!

JenRene

Exodus 14:22 “And the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left.”

In deep conversation with my husband this morning, we spoke about a really interesting topic. That of disappointment.

I was asked the question: “How do you handle disappointment?”

I then realized that I don’t often expect it. How do you handle then, something you don’t expect to happen? Exactly! 

 That’s the freedom  in this revelation. Interesting, because this is a new thought for me to acknowledge. I used to ALWAYS expect the worst. In fact, I would SAY the worst was going to happen, and because I said it, IT DID.

As I pondered this over in my mind, I tried to think about the time when My fears and reservations transferred from “not believing”, to believing. I couldn’t pinpoint an event or time, that this shifted for me, but I could pinpoint a season.  It keeps going back to 2005  – the absolutely worst, yet best year of my life.  I transitioned immensely during this year. My greatest gift gained? TRUST. Have you ever noticed in the word GREATEST  is the word: TEST?  Go figure…

So let me tell you all that happened:

1. I moved to a small town where  I hardly knew anyone, to be closer to my job.

 2. I lost a  good, close friend.

3. I inherited a large sum of money and relocated to Maryland.

4. I bought a new car.

5. I moved to Md. thinking I would be hired for a new job, then it fell apart.

6. I was betrayed badly by someone  I loved and it broke my heart.

7. I didn’t pass a state exam I needed in order to be  licensed in Maryland.

8. I met and befriended friends that were extremely supportive and I know I will have  for a lifetime.

9. I couldn’t pay rent for three months.

10. I didn’t lose my car.

11. It took five months for me to find a job.

12. I never went without eating, my refrigerator was ALWAYS full. Friends would bring me groceries.

13. I drove on “E” several times and never ran out of gas.

14. I contemplated moving back to NY with my parents at the age of 38.

15. When (God)  found a job  (for me) paying me significantly  - enough to sustain me well.  I made more money than I ever had – I could work from home,  it involved advocating for children and writing which I loved,  I worked only four days and week, and could go in at 10:30 am.

16. I  got divorced, after being separated after two long years.

17. I met the man of my dreams, literally. ( Long story)”

These were only a few of the miracles that happened that year, but they were awesome things that changed the course of my life, tremendously. I held on in such a way that I only would expect GOOD. I couldn’t afford to think differently. I studied God’s character like I never had before, and God helped me to see myself and proved how much He loved me.  He described this period as a time of giving me “Manna“-the same food in which He sustained the children of Israel when they were lost in the wilderness. I talk more about it, in my book and how blessed I was to receive this  ”manna”. I will talk more about it, but manna – in the Hebrew is explained as “What is it?” – it’ s basically the stuff you can’t understand.

I believe “manna” and spiritual maturity come hand in hand. 2005 Grounded me. At the Red Sea experience, Moses, as the author writes how “they walked through on DRY GROUND.  This experience helped me to see who God was more clearly, and also to see his hand upon my life. God is a life-preserver. When I think about all the things that could have happened to me during this year and did not – I sincerely feel the protection of God that helped me- and continues to help me - NOT give up, remain encouraged and enlivens  me during the hard times. My Red Sea opened…and I walked through.

Selah.

I found a cool site that allows me to put all my words together in a scramble like this.  Sometimes I get lost with my words. Yet, I love the power of them. This entry today is about a young girl who didn’t lose face, and who definitely wasn’t at a loss for words.  I read something today that was real good, so I want to share it.

 (Go to her link on wordle to see what I wrote about her recent blog entry, HERE.)

A new hero of mine, Abby Sutherland wrote this :

“Storms are part of the deal when you set out to sail around the world.
As for age, since when does age create gigantic waves and storms? ”

I was searching  and contemplating the answer  to this – this morning in my spirit.  Abby Sutherlund, the sixteen year old who followed her dream and had to be rescued from the middle of the Indian Ocean last week.

 So many gathered around her and supported her mission  and her blog to sail around the world. Many faulted her parents for even allowing such a deal to happen. I have to say I don’t have an opinion. What I admire most is her courage as she set about her quest.

I could be  judgemental, (and I was at first…) but then I thought:  how long do we really know we have to live? What if she only had seventeen years? Then she could say she accomplished at least half  of her dream to sail around the world.  It appears her rescue was not necessarily something she wanted. She was in a storm and no one could reach her, so apparently they had a rescue team sent out to find her.

So… I am without words for Abby. I definitely consider her to be very brave. But I do wonder how her family would have felt had she not made the journey. I prayed for Abby, on the Indian Ocean, the day I heard about it – June 10th – and I continued to pray until I heard she was fine. I believe God admires her bravery, but I believe He also silently said: “That’s enough”.

Read her story today… *AND* also 16 year old Jessica Watsons’ - she actually DID it — They might encourage YOU to go a little further!

 ( *Just click on ‘her name ‘, above  – and the word ‘blog’ – it leads you to her links.)

The images for this site can be found at: http://www.wordle.net/